Over the past two weeks and more, the rains have arrived in Bangalore to stay. So, no respite from that drizzly, incessant pouring rain, sometimes coming along with the force of a gale, at other times, quietly sneaking in through the skies into our hearts, seeping into our innermost core and refusing to leave!
My son has been running a cold for the past two days and every afternoon when he comes home from school, I have been giving him hopes that this gloomy weather is on its way out. That it is only a matter of days when he can go out to play again as before and not stay holed up. And, then today, I thought that perhaps we could play something or curl up with a book to read together as we used to during earlier days. On the spur of the moment, we did something special. We played a round of Chinese Checkers and then made up some funny stories to crack each other up! It was wonderful not to worry about homework or studies for a while. As we laughed and played together, I felt a little wistful thinking of how it would be when he grows up. I questioned myself and wondered if I was doing all that I was meant to do as a mother. I chided myself for not doing enough to make up for the lost time in the recent past. I chided myself for not playing enough with him. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that we had to fill in those unforgiving minutes with joyful things that meant so much more.
Suddenly, I remembered a poem by Diana Loomans that I had read a while back. I read it out to him. He listened intently, paused a bit and then, giving me the tightest hug there could be and a beaming smile, declared, “Mamma, you are the best mamma in the world”. That made me feel like a one-in-a million mum who had just won the lottery!!! Just in case you are wondering, the poem goes like this:
If I had my child to raise all over again
“If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.”
In a way, I think it is a reminder to prioritize in the right way and to take time to slow down and pause and enjoy our children while they are young. We should be savoring each stage in their little lives because when we blink, they’ll be on to the next milestone.
It can be difficult to find balance when we all have so many things to accomplish – the things we have to do and the things we want to do. Right now, I have a pile of laundry, writing assignments to finish, deadlines to meet, an eleven-year-old who needs me to help him with his project, a husband who needs me to write copy for a website he is working on, not to mention a house that wants 100% of me…the list can go on!
And yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way! Simply because they all matter to me. I love it that I have so much to do that keeps me busy all day and occupies me so much so that I hardly notice the grey skies and the mouldy smell emanating from my otherwise cozy room all because of the incessant rain over the past two weeks. When I am busy, I can do with terrible weather. It’s only when I sit down to do sweet nothing that I get grumpy and moan again. But, thankfully not for long.
Even with all the little annoyances, I know I will be there for my family when they need me the most…perhaps I have to put in a little more work to get the house cleaned and put food on the table. But, that way, I get to be with them each and every day and I know that I’m fortunate to be home with them. I get to watch every little change in them if I choose to do so. And that makes me feel alive and responding to life in the ‘here’ and the ‘now’, just as it should be.
Equally so, I love writing. There’s nothing quite like putting my words out there for others to read in the hope that they will find a little piece of themselves in it. It feels good to contribute to someone else’s day, even if it is a tiny fraction of that day. Fills me up in a positive sort of way when I know at least somebody thinks it resonates with how they feel.
This week and the next, I have a few articles to write (which hopefully I can share with all of you when ready) while I attend to some of that ever-lengthening ‘to-do’ list that I thrive on.
So, how did your week start? Did you, like me, begin your week with self-doubts? How did life catch up with you? Any nuggets of wisdom to share on how to make the most of our everyday living?
Looking forward to hearing from you, so please do share your thoughts. In the meantime, enjoy the week and ‘see’ you soon! 🙂
This post was written for Write Tribe’s Monday Musings