In the journey of life, moments come and go, have you ever wondered, what is more important – the effort or the goal. Or, in other words, is it the journey or the destination? Continue reading
Sometimes, life lessons can come from the most unlikely places. It is strange now when I think of it how as an after-thought so many nuggets of wisdom have come to me in life, those which I cherish and pass on to my son who is going to be thirteen soon. Continue reading
For the Monday Musings post today, I’m sharing a Haiku that I wrote some time back.
I love to think of women as strong powerful individuals who have the life force within them to keep going against the odds. Continue reading
Last Friday, I was woken up by a rather strange dream. It must have been around 3 in the morning. Everything else stood still in those wee hours, except the ticking of the clock. It was difficult to tell if this was real or a dream. I remember telling myself that it must be my instinct, which had crept up to me at odd hours Continue reading
The countdown to the New Year began well ahead of time for most of us. We’ve all been planning to make a fresh new start, get into a fitness routine, drop that baggage, lose weight, get rid of old habits and change old ways of doing things. In short, we’ve all been looking at this time to start everything afresh. Begin a new chapter. When the New Year finally arrived, we were happy to bid adieu to the old and promptly, came out our New Year Resolutions. Continue reading
There are days when we wake up feeling nothing is right with what we do, say or think. We are unhappy being who we are and tend to compare ourselves with everyone else. If we look into the mirror, we see too many flaws and remember too many past wounds and failings to love ourselves unconditionally. In fact, it leads us down a spiraling course of negativity.
Do you have days like that? Continue reading
Life is strange and often surprises us when we least expect it. After going through a surgery last year, I was hoping my life was going to change for the better. Instead, after months of pain, it took me on a downward spiral, leaving me with a series of health conditions that I struggled to cope with. I never complained, keeping it all bottled up inside me. Towards the beginning of this year, unable to get my energy levels or my physical fitness back, I began to sink into a state of depression. Continue reading
Last week was quite an eventful one for most of us. There would be few who wouldn’t have been affected by what was happening in the country or around the world. The uncertainty of things to come, and the inability to deal with changes that have been thrust upon us leaving us disappointed and disillusioned, depending on which side of the fence we find ourselves in. But my belief is, no matter what other people say or do or even how they try to make us feel, we have the power to choose the way we look at situations and, importantly, how we react to them.
Let us not carry forward our inner struggles and baggage from the past but try and pave the way for positivity and inner peace. Today, I want to share an issue a lot of us face when we are trying to make our lives more positive – the toxic people in our lives who fill our space with negativity. It may not always be possible to cut these people totally out of our lives, because we may be living in close proximity to them every day. Their harsh words prick us and disturb our equilibrium. We feel unsettled. Recently, I came across a beautiful story from the Buddha’s life which explains what we should do when faced with such a situation.
Once, when Buddha was speaking to a group of his followers, a man came and spoke to him very rudely, challenging his wisdom and charging him with a barrage of false accusations. While the followers were clearly upset, the Buddha remained calm and unruffled. The man got even further irritated when he found that his words had no effect on the Buddha. So, he came up to him and asked him- “It seems that my words don’t have any affect on you. Why are you so quiet?”. This time, the Buddha spoke. He said, “When a rich man offers money to a roadside beggar and the beggar refuses to accept it, who does the money stay with?”. “Why, the rich man, of course”. The Buddha then explained. “So, is it with your words. I refuse to accept your words, so they mean nothing to me. I do not get upset by what does not belong to me. Simple.”
What an invaluable life lesson for us all! As I grow older I realize that I should have practiced this thought a long time ago. It would have saved me from many a heartbreak. Today, I know, why it is important to remind ourselves that we alone can control how we feel. The more we value ourselves, our thoughts, and emotions, the less someone else can control and manipulate us to feel a certain way. This thought makes me feel empowered today and I pray you do too. Let focus and positivity walk alongside us and continue to guide us.
So, tell me how do you cope when you find another person dragging you down into the pool of negativity? How do you overcome the impact of rude, unkind words from people close to you who you may not be able to avoid in your everyday life?
It is not often that I write a post dedicated to someone in particular. Interestingly, this one is. How? Well, actually, last week, during a conversation with Anamika of thebespectacledmother.com, while discussing about Durga Puja, I had casually mentioned about how even though I’m not one to follow religious rituals, to me Durga Puja is all about a spiritual connect with the goddess who signifies strength, courage and positivity – and why it is so important to me – something that I draw sustenance from, each day. She suggested I write a post as she was keen to know more about it. With at least one reader assured, I bravely went ahead with the idea. 🙂 I did cover some aspects of the Durga Puja festival in my previous skywatch post, but many would not have read it. I do hope I have been able to do justice to the topic, as I’m writing after a short break and (here’s an honest confession!) more than anything, I’m desperately trying to get back into my writing groove.
P.S. I am done with Durga Puja now for another year, I promise 😀
In Bengal, the advent of autumn brings along with it a slight nip in the air. From a distance, one can spot soft fleecy clouds spread all across the azure sky and the fields are covered by the beautiful ‘kaash’ flowers on the sides and the ground strewn with fragrance of “Shiuli” (jasmine) everywhere.
Autumn means celebration, the arrival of goddess Durga and many other fun activities. It means kites in the sky flying high, crossing each other. People gear up for the echo of the “dhaak” and the “dhol” and the excitement reaches a final crescendo as the final preparations are almost over for the biggest festival of the year – the celebration and worship of Goddess Durga over the next few days.
My earliest memories of Durga Puja begin with the recollection of waking up at the wee hours of the morning to the intensely beautiful ushering in of goddess Durga on “Mahalaya”, that comes a week before, with Birendra Krishna Bhadra‘s Mahishasur Mardini, a collection of shlokas and songs, on the radio.
He was an eminent broadcaster and there used to be so much power in his soaring invocation to the mother goddess to descend on earth – “Jago Tumi Jago. (Rise, oh Mother!) that I used to, and still do, get goosebumps each time I listened to it. As a child, the arrival of pujas meant unparalleled excitement – new clothes, the festive feel to the air and plenty of fun with friends at the local Durgabari -all of which made it all feel so special. Rain or shine, nothing could take away the joys from those few days.
We’ve all grown up listening to the many legendary tales of Durga. The Hindus see Her as a manifestation of Shakti or the power of God. She is said to assume different forms at different times to destroy the “Danavas/Asuras” or the workers of evil. It is believed that the first ever Durga Puja was performed by Lord Rama in the month of “Ashwin” (September-October, according to the Hindu calendar) to invoke the blessing of the Goddess before declaring war on the mighty demon, King Ravana. This Durga Puja was quite different from the traditional worship of the mother goddess; therefore, this puja ceremony is also known as “akal-bodhan“, which stands for out-of-season worship. The event marks the epoch of universal rejoicing and festivity amongst the Hindus – the proverbial victory of good over evil, of light over darkness.
Although all Hindus equally worship the Durga, to a Bengali, this festival is evocative of some of the finest memories of celebration with the near and dear ones, when the goddess is said to return to her “maternal home” on Earth, from Mt Kailash, along with her children Ganesh, Kartik, Lakshmi and Saraswati. Celebrated as a bunch of festivals over six days Durga Puja starts from the day of Mahalaya, to be followed a week later, by Maha Shashti, Maha Saptami, Maha Ashtami (Durga Ashtami), Maha Navami and ending on Vijaya Dashami (the tenth day of Victory),. when the goddess returns to the Himalayas.
Over the centuries, Durga Puja has transcended the boundaries of religion and is today, heralded as one of the largest outdoor festivals, one that gives the Bengali community an opportunity to showcase their art and culture throughout the world. Since the 1990s, the “pandals” have become an extension of the Durga Puja itself. Stylistic elements are now added to its exteriors as well as interiors and artists work for months, rather painstakingly, to create unrivalled craftsmanship and detailed work that makes each pandal more attractive and striking than the other. Corporate sponsorships have taken it a whole new level and prizes are awarded to encourage the artists, many of whom dedicatedly work on these alone to make ends meet.
During the mornings, while the priest performs the puja, people queue up to offer “pushpanjali”, or offerings of flowers to the goddess, by chanting of the mantras. Everyone is dressed in their finest traditional wear, specially allocated for each of the five days and there are plenty of volunteers who work alongside the organisers to ensure everything proceeds seamlessly, before it is time for the “bhog” to be offered to the goddess.
As a custom, everyone who visits the pandal is treated to this special lunch, the menu being similar to what is offered to the goddess, but this is usually cooked in large vats and pans to cater to the large crowds. Who can forget he memories of steaming hot “khichuri”, the colourful medley of vegetable curry (“Labra“), tomato “chutney” and the delicious – a sweetened rice pudding,”payesh”, liberally topped with dry fruits and raisins? I still recall queuing up with friends, eyeing the best places, before finally getting a chance to grab a seat – that joy of being part of a huge gathering of people, a part of that merry gang, still fresh in memory – something, that many like me, still look for, even now, as we now celebrate the festival in different cities, far removed from the towns and familiar neighbourhoods we grew up in. It is heartening to see people getting their friends to join in for the “bhog“, which, I feel, brings people across communities together on a common platform, in an otherwise socially stratified society, so common in our Indian cities.
The evenings are a different scene altogether. At the altar of the goddess, the priest performs the “Sandhyarati“, followed by a special dance, by those adept at the “dhunuchi” dance, which involves dancing while holding an earthen pot, filled with burning coconut fibres along with camphor, as an invocation to the goddess- a dance that has now become synonymous with the festival itself. This is followed by the evening cultural show, which includes concerts by well-known songwriters and singers with each pandal competing to attract the best names for their event, subject to their budget and organizational prowess!
As night descends, the pandals come alive with festive lighting with crowds thronging the live arena on one side and rows of food stalls, on the other, that all kinds of cuisines, besides traditional Bengali delicacies and sweets.
The four days of festivity ends finally on the fifth day with “sindur khela” when married women smear vermillion on the diety’s forehead and feet, and then on each other, symbolising long lasting marital bliss. Amid loud drum beats and chants, all the idols are carried in a procession, and immersed in the waters, symbolic of the departure of the deity to her home with her husband in the Himalayas. Thus ends the five days of festivity, with rituals thrown in aplenty for those believe and follow them.
For me, these puja days are reliving the childhood excitement and feeling a very strong spiritual connect with the deity, even though I am not a great follower or believer in traditional rituals and customs in general. For the very same reason, my husband and I have never forced our son to believe in them either, who until very recently, was a staunch agnostic. Now, at age twelve, he reckons God is a belief that exists within him, in much the same way as I do, a faith that miraculously emerged within him, although we have never indoctrinated him either for or against it.
The vision of the goddess in all her glory reaffirms my faith in myself and tells me that all that is dark and negative will be destroyed. She, who is the remover of all the three types of miseries – physical, mental and spiritual, helps me draw strength from within, as it has been for all these years. I draw my sustenance from this universal spirit and feel energised as my soul begins to get purged off fear, anxiety and worry, all negative thoughts, sadness and anger and I rise anew to face life and its volleys once again. I cannot stop what is to come but I can certainly prepare myself for the uncertainties that lie ahead.
The vision of that fearless pose of goddess Durga in her “abhay mudra” stays with me long after those five days are over, fuelling my reserves every now and then, reminding me that I am part of that Universal spirit too. The idols may come and go each year, but She lives on within me forever.
Sometimes I wonder about my writing. I keep on and on because I think things begin to make sense to me. And yet, I have miles to go before I can ever think of calling myself an accomplished writer. Why? Because my writing is still a work in progress.
When I think of my reasons to write, the first thought is that of an impulse, a force that wants to bring about small changes in the way we view things, even if the change were to be a minute one. To me, it means I achieved something. Someone has rightly said of writing, “At times, it feels like riding a roller coaster; other times, it’s like riding a donkey.” Personally speaking, writing pushes me to grow and discover more about myself. I couldn’t live any other way.
When I hear from my readers that my note/post has earned their appreciation, it validates my inner thoughts and fuels me to go on. But, even if it doesn’t grab someone’s attention, I would still continue to write, because, at the end of the day, I write for myself. Sharing a few good reasons that compels me to write:
My writing is my own road map – it shows me the way forward.
It lets me tell my stories and share my beliefs with the world at large.
When I write, I belong in the here and the now.
Writing helps me discover myself, my innermost world of thoughts that often lies trapped under the layers of duties, daily chores and responsibilities that sum up my day.
I write to connect with myself.
Writing is a way of clarifying my thoughts, reflections and beliefs to myself first and then, to the world.
Writing to me is about finding meaning and then sharing it with the world.
I write to be fully alive and free, to find contentment because I’ve always wanted to do so for a very long time, not knowing why.
Writing helps us make art out of everyday, ordinary moments.
I write because it allows me to create something through words and then, at the press of a button, gives me that indefinable joy of sharing it with others across the world.
We all go through experiences that teach us some difficult life lessons. I write because it pushes me beyond the barriers of everyday existence into a world of possibilities. The path may not always be smooth and predictable, but there are new horizons to explore always, which add to more adventure in life, away from the staid and the ordinary.
Writing makes one view life with a multi-coloured lens to be able to present the myriad hues of the human condition to the reader. Each moment of anticipation is full of excitement about what could happen in the next.
As I said earlier, my writing is still a work in progress. It is not about the destination, but all about the journey!
(Linking this with #Monday Musings on Everyday Gyaan)