It happens to be one of those days when I have too much on my plate and nothing seems to be moving at all. I woke up with a sore throat this morning and a slight touch of feverishness. I admit I did fantasise about curling up with a book and reading all day. But, of course, it wasn’t meant to be! Continue reading
It’s not always that we look back and feel good about something we did. At least, not me. Often, I catch myself introspecting on why something did not go down too well or how the situation in question could have led to a more desirable outcome. Continue reading
Pitch dark outside and very quiet. The only sound being the gently ticking clock by my bedside table. I must have been awake since long. When I checked the time it was almost 4 am. I was waiting for daylight to break. There was still time for the first rays of the sun to filter in through the windows. I did my morning stretches and headed to the kitchen to get my cup of tea.
As I prepared to set off for my morning walk, I felt a rising sense of pressure within me. Feeling overwhelmed, almost like a gigantic wave was hitting me and I was going to be swept away. The feeling of not being in control was unsettling.
However much I tried, I could not meditate today because I think I wasn’t able to concentrate. So, I let go. The sun never showed up. There were incessant drizzles and an overbearing sense of greyness that made me feel like I was mourning something.
I know I must be careful today. I know I’ll be plagued with self-doubts today if anything goes wrong and almost certainly, will be harsh on myself and sink into a depressive state. But, being aware helps. My awareness of where my thoughts are leading me makes me careful and take note of that moment from where things might spiral for the worse.
I don’t wish to, but I’m losing my grip. I do not wish to, but, I’m finding myself giving in. I know it is ‘normal’ to experience some degree of anxiety when stressors are unfamiliar, unpredictable, or imminent.
I have no clue how to resolve my situation but I know I’m not going to let negative thinking get me down. I need some time for deep breathing and actually do something about it.
But, first, I must find a way to deal with the stressors that triggered all this in the first place.
When things are not in your control and you find yourself drowning in it, how do you deal with it?
Last week in Bengaluru was quite a mix of rain and shine. As I watched the sun peep out from behind the clouds, my mind recalled an evening, almost similar to this one, when nothing was going right and hope was almost lost. I was a little girl in pigtails watching another sunset behind the hills. Naive, unprepared and apprehensive of things beyond my control. It was during one of the darkest phases of life, when time seemed to stand still and nothing seemed to change ever.
Contrasting it with my present, grateful that life has now taught me to be stronger, and aware of the world and it’s moments of unpredictability. Looking back, since then, so much has happened, worth being grateful for! One part of me resolves not to delve into the past again, and another one nudges me to look back, remember and reflect. I seem to have lost track of how many life lessons I have gathered this way!
In some ways, I am thankful for what I’ve been through during those early years of life. It has shaped me to be me, my thoughts and my stubborn positivity to keep going at it. This is why I do not like to give up on anything even today. Nothing comes easy in life really.But, I’m not delving into it. That’s going to be my post for another day.
While taking this shot, I kept deliberating on how life is such a juxtaposition of opposites, where joy walks hand in hand with sorrow, and blessings co-exist with burdens, and triumphs meet tragedies alike.
Our heart despairs one minute and bounces with hope, at the very next one. We tend to forget the present, but relive our memories that replay events from times gone by. Life never fails to baffle us!
Here’s another sky shot of the overcast sky contrasting with the ray of light. May you have a wonderful weekend to enjoy your weekly break and relax. Happy Friday to you all 🙂
Linking this with #Skywatch Friday, a community of sky watchers who are happy to present you with stunning sky views from all around the world.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve felt unnerved by how time has been speeding up. I won’t deny that I’ve felt weighed down by a sense of disillusionment as to where the days, or months, or even years went.
This week I’ve been asking myself this – Why does it happen that as we grow older, the world starts to become more familiar and we learn less and there seems to be less adventure, play, exploration, creativity and the sense of wonder to invite and engage with newness?
Perhaps the reason is that as we encounter the familiar, time seems to constrict and when we acquire new knowledge, it expands. The way we spend our time influences how we perceive it. So the choices we make about what to do now impacts how we’ll manage our time later. Neuroscience believes this could be due to the relationship between time’s elasticity and whether your brain is processing new information – this dictates why time seems to turn up the tempo as we age.
Thankfully, we’re not doomed yet. And, we do not have to march to the relentless beat of time. Our sense of time can be moulded, to move to our own beat. You could say thats one way we could slow down time.
Today, I’ll share my learning about the two ways in which we can potentially make our days richer and more memorable so that our sense of time expands and life doesn’t pass us by as if in a dream: we must counteract routines and fill our time with new experiences.
The idea of time speeding up as we grow older has been around for a long time. Way back in 1890, William James identified how the automatic nature of routines means that learning isn’t really taking place. He described this exact experience in his Principles of Psychology:
In youth, we may have an absolutely new experience, subjective or objective, every hour of the day. Apprehension is vivid, retentiveness strong, and our recollections of that time, like those of a time spent in rapid and interesting travel, are of something intricate, multitudinous and long-drawn-out. But as each passing year converts some of this experience into automatic routine which we hardly note at all, the days and the weeks smooth themselves out in recollection to contentless units, and the years grow hollow and collapse.
It is easy to see why major changes are needed in our routine lives in order to break that monotony and fill up our time up with new experiences and knowledge to form accessible memory anchors.
Over the years, as we get set into predictable routines, we need to turn our brain resources to new challenges by way of projects and learning new tasks or skills. This explains why some of us believe in lifelong learning in order to keep our minds in shape at all times. It is just not children who should be asking questions. In fact, even we need to probe further and ask questions to exercise our curiosity muscles. Why not take a trip or change up our environment more often? Or maybe, to embrace the inner child within us and go exploring, even if it’s just to stretch ourselves a little.
The sense of wistfulness and disappointment is never more acute than when we reflect upon our life, especially when we notice the passage of yet another month or birthday or year — when we haven’t really made any progress on the things we wanted to do.
As we begin another week, I’m trying to put my intentions into practice and fill in my time with a new experience each week. That way, I can also take the time to celebrate my progress leaving behind a succession of memories to look back on, when I think about the passage of time. The thought behind this is that making and recognizing progress not only builds up intrinsic motivation, but also prevents us from slipping into the hollowness of automatic, forgettable routines. There are lots of relevant and remarkable milestones, all along the way that we can create as we keep adding new experiences into our lives.
Now, that I’ve shared my thoughts, tell me what is your take on this? Do you feel happy and contented looking back on your progress? Or are you, like me, trying to make sense of all this?
(Linking this with #Monday Musings on everyday gyaan)